Category: Living our faith

What happens in baptism?

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On Sunday we will baptize four children, ages 4-13.  Our congregation will sing David Haas’ refrain, “Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name” as we prepare for this joyous celebration.  Times four?  Even better.

Why do we baptize? What happens in that moment when water meets forehead?

It isn’t magic.  I hasten to remind parents that their child will not suddenly sleep through the night, become better behaved, or start cleaning their room.

Another kind of transformation takes place, one that is unseen and mostly has to do with our hearts. It can happen at any age (the oldest person I baptized was an 87 year old man preparing for his death) or any place (the beauty of our sanctuary is lovely, but dipping my trembling fingers into a flimsy paper cup by a hospital bedside works too).

In that moment, God speaks to our spirits, that divine essence in each one of us, and declares what is true about us.  During baptism, I always ask, “By what name shall this child be baptized?” It is not that I forgot the person’s name. It is an opportunity to remember with awe that God knows each of us by name. In baptism, God tells us who we are and reminds us of an identity that can’t be taken away from us.

During our lifetime, many people tell us lies about who we are. We are told that we are too fat or too skinny, not smart or cool enough, or that we just don’t fit in. We hear messages about our value and worth and how we don’t measure up to some impossible standard. The world is all too glad to push soul-crushing labels and demeaning false names upon us. Those lies can lead to heartache and crippling self-doubt.

Baptism destroys those lies. God tells us who we really are – a beloved child of God’s, named by God as precious in God’s sight. No one can take that identity away.  Baptism cannot be reversed or negated. No matter how anyone else defines us, God’s name for us endures. Wherever our path leads us – what  we do, who we love, what mistakes we make, false starts we engage in, dead ends we encounter – we will remain God’s beloved child, always welcome in God’s sight.

At baptism we humbly celebrate God the name-giver who claims us with an unshakeable love.

That’s what we will celebrate on Sunday. Baptism is a gift to children who don’t know enough to even ask for this grace and a reminder to all who witness it. In baptism we say ‘yes’ to God who said ‘yes’ to us long before we knew it, or requested it. It is a gift to the children being baptized and a reminder to all the witnesses. God names us so we can spend our lives discovering how to live into that God-given identity.

Baptism2

Celebrating Confirmation

On By fosteringyourfaithIn Faith, Living our faith2 Comments

This Sunday we will celebrate the confirmation of eleven of our teenagers.  Most of these fourteen and fifteen year-olds – “confirmands,” as they have been known for more than a year – were baptized when they were infants.  Their parents took vows on their behalf and promised they would model a faith of forgiveness, love and justice. Now these teenagers wish to “confirm” their faith for themselves.

Although we recognize that they are still very young and have much to learn in life, the church considers them mature enough to declare their own belief.  Among other promises, they will vow

  • “By the grace of God to follow in the way of our Savior”
  • “To resist oppression and evil and to show love and justice, according to the grace given to you.”

Every time vows are taken in church – whether it is for baptism, confirmation, or a wedding – people make promises that they will only gradually understand. A young couple who vows to love one another in “sickness and in health” may not understand the overwhelming nature of that promise for many years to come.

We do not expect our confirmands (much to their relief) to “know it all,” to have a comprehensive understanding of the Bible or to be unquestioning in their faith. We make that clear when they answer what I consider to the most important question, “Do you promise, according to the grace given to you, to grow in the Christian faith.” They will give the hopeful, affirmative reply, “I promise, with the help of God.” They are promising to grow, ask questions, and continue to learn.

It’s a big promise.

What I love about their vows is the presence, over and over again, of words like “grace” and “the help of God.” The church is reminding them they are not alone. God never simply pushes us out of the nest or into our future with a hearty, “Good luck with that!” Instead, God promises to journey with us, supplying us with much-needed support and help.

There is an understanding, even an expectation, that we will make mistakes. Our confirmands – like many of us – more questions than answers, more doubt than faith, more uncertainty than conviction.

But they want to be on this journey of faith. They want to find out more. They want to discover who God is and the impact their faith can have. They want to make a difference in this world that needs the love, hospitality, and welcome of a forgiving and renewing God.

This is not the beginning of their faith journey; rather it is one step along an evolving path.  We will surround them with our prayers and be reminded that all of us need to continue to search for God in our everyday lives.

Confirmation

 

Hugs from strangers

On By fosteringyourfaithIn Living our faith, Love9 Comments

The sounds of an emergency room are unmistakable. The swift footsteps of nurses as they hurry into a room. Machines beeping an urgent rhythm as they track heartbeat, pressure, and the flow of medicines. Doctors issuing orders. And all the while, loved ones endure an anguished wait.

As a volunteer chaplain at our local hospital, I am on-call for a weekend every month so that our hard-working chaplain can take a much-needed break. When a call comes in, I know it will be urgent. Often it is a family requesting a priest who can administer last rites.  I used to explain to the nurse on the phone that I was not a priest and therefore was no in position to offer Catholic sacraments. But over the years I have learned that most people yearn for any assurance that God is with them in a time of crisis. Even when the person delivering that assurance is a female Protestant minister.

Early in the morning, I huddled with a family, separated from their loved one only by a thin floor to ceiling curtain. We could hear the effort that was being put in to save this particular life. Calm but urgent voices counted CPR beats as carts were wheeled in to supply additional support.

And then – silence. Talking stopped. Machines were turned off. The hurried steps of these brave first responders ceased. The curtain was drawn back and the dreaded sentence was spoken, “I’m sorry; we did everything we could.”

That’s when grace enters in. Suddenly these strangers became the first comforters. Nurses came to offer hugs. Doctors stopped to offer condolences. The ambulance driver brought in chairs so the overwhelmed family could rest. Someone offered coffee, another brought in a pitcher of water. This was compassion brought to life.

Names were not necessary. In that moment kindness ruled. Everyone was aware that this was someone’s mother. Someone who had made breakfasts for decades and worried when her children came home late. Someone who played cards with neighbors and was always ready to offer a cup of coffee and a listening ear.
And now she was gone. Just like that. With no warning.
Tears ran down cheeks of people who may not have even known her name. Strangers gave hugs. And the family received comfort.
Living kindness and offering compassion is what we are called to do as human beings. The need for love is greater than all that divides us. Thoughts of which political figure was supported or disdained disappeared. We were just people together, confronting the fragility of life.

In that moment of life and death, love prevailed. Compassion, care and comfort were freely given.

It reminded me of how we are meant to live – with the ability to care for our brothers and sisters around us.  Even the ones we may not know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Discovering God’s people

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“God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness…”  Genesis 1:26

When I was a little girl my grandmother traveled around the world on a “tramp steamer.” This relatively inexpensive ship allowed her to spend months crisscrossing the globe while our family enjoyed her travels vicariously. We had a world map mounted on a hallway wall which helped us monitor her movements. Every time a postcard arrived, we would read it eagerly, marveling at the sights and sounds she was experiencing. Then we would carefully and somewhat ceremoniously place a pin in her current location. Soon colorful dots marked her journey from one hemisphere to another.

Every once in a while a package would arrive with a doll or other interesting artifact from her adventures.  This was the beginning of my doll collection; I still treasure the brightly colored costumes that represent the variety of cultures she experienced.

As a child, my goal in life was to be able to add to that collection myself. I looked forward to the day when I would be able to travel and discover new customs, foods, and cultures on my own. My first overseas trip was as a high school summer exchange student to Germany. That was enough to encourage me to travel whenever and wherever I could.  My college junior year abroad (in Germany, again) led to two additional years of living and working in Europe. When I went to seminary, international travel was encouraged so that we could broaden our horizons and our understanding of religions and cultures other than our own. That led to study trips to Costa Rica and Israel.

My dream was to pass my curiosity and love of learning on to my children. We traveled as a family to Bolivia to participate in home-building and education support.   My children have since ventured to places I have not (yet) experienced including Senegal, Japan, Wales, and Spain. I believe it has been a vital part of their education, giving them a broader perspective on the world and on themselves.

The only way to learn about one another – whether across the globe or in our own town – is to experience each other’s world. We need to talk with – and listen to – each other. We live in a nation divided by politics and opinions.  It is imperative that we wonder about each other, ask questions of one another, and carefully consider what the other person is saying.

One way to approach each other is with a holy curiosity. We can ponder – what is it like to be that person?  What has been their life experience? What has formed and shaped them? What do they believe and why?  What can I learn from them?

We will not agree with – or even like – everyone we meet. But if we approach people with the understanding that every one of us is created in the image of God, that might be a place to begin.

Why I’m marching

On By fosteringyourfaithIn Living our faith13 Comments

I’m a 58-year-old straight white woman with bad feet.  Why am I going to the Women’s March in Washington DC on January 21st?

I’m marching because I want to be part of the conversation. Politicians are always talking. The news cycles are filled with people shouting past each other as they try to force their reality on one another.

There’s a lot of voices out there.

I want to add my voice. My voice will be one of hope, inclusion, and welcome.

I’m marching so I can share what I have learned over 58 years of being a woman, and a pastor, mother, wife, sister, daughter, and an American.

I’m marching my faith.

I want to be involved in what is going on in our country.

I want my voice to be heard. I want to show up, speak up, and share what I believe in.

I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with vast numbers of diverse people across the country and reflect on what it means to love all of my neighbors.

I want to join young and old women of every age, color and ability to declare that every woman deserves to be treated with respect.

I want to march with gay, straight, and trans women and say what is true – each one of us is created in God’s image.

I am not a political activist. I have never done anything like this before.

But I am expending a great deal of time, effort, and resources to ensure that my voice joins thousands of others. Together we will encourage each other to stand up for dignity, equality, and an eager openness to learn about one another.

I am marching a message of love.

I am marching a message of hope.

I am marching a promise never to give up.

I am marching so all people can be included in our nation’s history.

women-march-2

That’s why I’m marching.

I’ll let you know what I experience.

How does God speak to you?

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We will be celebrating Star Gift Sunday on January 8th.  This celebration of Epiphany, which marks the day the wise men arrived to worship Jesus, reminds us of the Light shining in the darkness, long after the excitement of Christmas has grown dim. The eight-week season of Epiphany encourages us to wonder

  • Where is God’s Light shining?
  • Where do you encounter God?
  • How –and where – does God speak to you?
  • Are we, like the ancient Magi, actively seeking the Light that is promised to us?

During worship, everyone will receive a paper star imprinted with one of about 200 words. Worshipers are encouraged to reflect on that word, that “star gift,” throughout the coming year.  People use many creative methods to ensure they encounter their star word several times each day. The paper stars get hung on computers, mirrors, refrigerators or are transformed into digital “wallpaper” on phones and computers.  Each glimpse of star gift reminds us that God is in that place, that somehow God is, as the United Church of Christ motto assures us, still speaking to God’s people. We are meant to be listening.

Google informs me that 7012 languages are spoken across the globe. Given that diversity, I am confident that God has a great variety of ways to speak to us.  I am wary of people who insist that there is only one way to discern God’s presence or a single path to the Creator of the universe. Instead, as a child of God filled with God’s Spirit, each of us can listen for the innumerable ways God speaks to us. I have met people who encounter God in

  • A cardinal in the snow
  • A stranger’s kindness
  • A child’s smile
  • The beauty of a sunset
  • The expanse of stars and planets, reminding us of God’s grandeur
  • The certainty of the sunrise, no matter how late or how dim that light may be

I know a young widow who discovers “hearts from heaven” in nature which remind her that love is stronger even than death.

The important thing is to listen, with ears and spirit open to the possibility of God breaking through our everyday lives to speak to our hearts.
In these frightening political times, during tense family encounters, in post-holiday let down, during the bleak mid-winter, at moments or days when you are not sure you can go on – what if we listen? What if we look? What if we notice?

What is God whispering to your spirit today? I won’t presume to tell you. But I do know this:

– The message God has for you is one of love.

– God’s voice is filled with forgiveness.

– God promises faithfulness.  God will never leave or abandon us.

God will love us when no one else does. Even when we don’t love ourselves.

I hope you can join us on Star Gift Sunday. Or send me your address and I will mail you a star.
But even more important –

  • Listen
  • Look
  • Be aware

God is speaking to you today.

star-gift-love

 

Messages of Light

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“Name 10 things you are thankful for.”  It was the morning of December 24th. My husband and I lay in bed, enjoying the calm before the storm known as “the holidays.”  It was, of course, the dawn of Christmas Eve. It also marked the beginning of Hanukkah. Since my husband grew up in a Jewish household, we celebrate both holidays.

“Do the three kids count as one blessing or as three?” he asked, wanting to get the rules of this exercise right, or perhaps just eager for breakfast.  “Each one is an individual blessing,” I decided.  We agreed that each child is unique and deserving of our gratitude and prayers.

We ended our thankfulness list by naming God who, in both our traditions, offers light and encouragement. Whether we are anticipating the arrival of Christmas with our Advent candles or enjoying the increasing light on each night of Hanukkah, we give thanks that God’s faithfulness cannot be dimmed.

Our menorah and our crèche stand side by side every December.  Each were both made in Israel. I bought the hand-crafted olive wood figures during a three week course in Jerusalem. The menorah was the first purchase my husband and I made as newlyweds.

creche

When our children were little, the shepherds and kings would often wander away from the stable to encircle the lights of the menorah.  That didn’t look wrong to us; it was as if those tiny figures were reminding us that both holidays are about hope and faith, endurance and trust. The gift we endeavored to pass along to our children was the message of faith in an unfailing God and the joy that both holidays can bring.

Before we were married, we worried about how to bring our two faiths together, honoring both, without compromising either. Twenty-five years later, that challenge seems more important than ever.  We live in an era of division, fear and distrust.  It seems critical to take time to review our blessings and listen to the life-giving message our faiths offer.

When I see the lights of the menorah shining on the stable of Bethlehem, it lets me dream about a time when people of all faiths and backgrounds might join together to celebrate hope and resilience. We can listen to and learn from one another as together we share glimpses of our steadfast God.

May that light continue to shine in the New Year and enable us to recognize one another as beloved children of God.

menorah

Daring to care

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“Do you have a cigarette?” the young woman muttered as I walked out of our local hospital. I didn’t even glance her way.  She persisted, “Can I get a ride into town?” My guard was up; I had just experienced the hurt and disappointment that comes from trusting a practiced liar. That person managed to take money from me and from members of my church before we realized she was simply conning us for whatever she could get.  That incident left me wary.

So who was this person approaching me at 7:15 a.m. on a frigid weekday? When I finally looked closely at her, I saw a young woman just few years older than my children. I was glad to see she was wearing a winter coat, hat, and gloves, but she looked tired. She smelled faintly of alcohol.

“Are you all right?”  I asked.  She rejected my offer of a cup of coffee or a breakfast sandwich, insisting that a cigarette would start her day off right. I drove her the short distance into town. She got her cigarettes and lit one with shaking hands.

“I’m on my way to go grocery shopping,” I informed her.

“I can wait for you,” she said. She seemed lonely and at loose ends, without any plan for the day ahead.

She perched on a chair in the store’s coffee area while I gathered supplies for Christmas cookies.  As she helped me load my groceries into my car, I asked, “Now what? It’s too cold to stay outside.”

When I asked about family or friends, she explained that her boyfriend “wasn’t that nice” and she didn’t think her family would welcome a phone call from her. I put on my best mother voice as I assured her that even when I’m mad at my children, I still want to know they are safe and cared for. She was unconvinced.

“Do you want to go to the homeless shelter?”  I was certain that suggestion would shake her out of her indecision. Instead, she agreed that was the best course.

During the 20 minute drive to the shelter, she kept me amused with her description of growing up in our area, studying at community college, even attending our church’s Fourth of July Jamboree. My heart ached for her as she casually confessed she was an alcoholic with little hope for the future.

The shelter’s in-take clerk was brisk and to the point:

  • Arrest and sex offender lists are checked before entry.
  • No smoking, no drinking
  • Inside hours are 8 PM to 8 AM. After that, everyone needs to be outside.

I realized just how little I was giving her. She had a warm place to sleep that night but had a long, cold day ahead of her. I gave her my name and phone number and encouraged her to call. I described de-tox programs that could help her and counselors who could offer guidance.  I don’t know if I’ll ever hear from her again.

What I wanted, of course, was a happy ending. I wanted to solve her problems and help her find a safer, healthier path. Instead, I was left a lingering sadness and unsettling glimpse of a difficult life.

Will my small gestures help?  Maybe. Maybe we are all pieces of a much bigger puzzle. Maybe someone else will offer her another helping hand. And then another and another. Maybe each one will add up to make a difference.

Just because we cannot solve a problem is not a reason to hesitate to do what we can.

There are needs all around us. One way we share God’s light is by offering our hands and our hearts. Let us do what we can to help one another on the journey.

How does the church work?

On By fosteringyourfaithIn Church, Living our faith4 Comments

As a small-town pastor, I marvel every day about our church – this unlikely collection of volunteers who allow the love of God to shine through them. Our church looks something like this –  When I arrive early on a Sunday morning, the building is empty, locked and dark.  I begin the weekly process of resuscitation by opening the shutters and unlocking the doors. The real vibrancy arrives as people drift in. There’s the guy who makes coffee each week, here are a couple of people who baked cookies and cut up fruit for fellowship time following worship.  The choir, those impossibly busy people who somehow squeeze in weekly rehearsal time, clamber into the choir loft, eagerly anticipating their anthem.

Dedicated parents and grandparents are organizing paper, scissors, and glue sticks, anxious to share Bible lessons and crafts. The sanctuary hums to life as someone flips on the sound system, another carefully places flowers on our communion table, and some friendly volunteers welcome visitors and regulars alike.  The building is brimming with activity now, as neighbors greet one another and weary young mothers grab precious moments with a kindred spirit. Gray-headed seniors lean in for conversation as teenagers casually compare phones and screens.

Before entering the sanctuary, the deacon questions her ability to draw the attention of this noisy, somewhat unruly crowd to the still, small voice of God.  There is Good News to share – God has promised to show up, right here, in our little corner of CT, because we are gathered in God’s name.

Good morning! The deacon asserts boldly.

Good morning!  The congregation booms in reply.

Peace, one might even say the Spirit, descends upon those gathered, not at all distracted by wriggly babies or bored teenagers. Somehow God meets each one of us, exactly where we are this morning. God is in this place and suddenly – we become the church.  We are the people of God, flawed, imperfect, falling very short of the glory of God, yet blessed and renewed by God’s love which welcomes every single one of us. And because God names us the church, the Body of Christ, we can claim that title as well. Together we can endeavor to serve God by sharing God’s love.

That’s church on a Sunday morning.

How does it work on the other days?

  • Someone drops by to donate skeins of yarn she found on sale. Less than an hour later an older woman stops by to ask for prayer shawl materials. She leaves, eager to knit and pray for some yet unknown recipient who will receive a reminder of God’s encircling love. The church works when we share.
  • Two $50 Visa gift cards arrive in the mail. An out-of-state daughter wants to honor her parent’s anniversary by passing along the love and compassion she inherited from their relationship. Later that same day a young woman was weeping in my office, devastated by the husband who abandoned her and their two-year-old child. $50 wasn’t going to solve her problems, but it heartened her to know someone cared. The church works when we celebrate love.
  • One of our snowbirds returned from Florida, bubbling with excitement. “I discovered Tai Chi,” she exclaimed, “and I want to share it with others.” Her enthusiasm draws in 15-18 people, members and visitors to our church, twice weekly as they share fellowship and gentle exercise. The church works when people follow their enthusiasm.
  • “Art makes people feel good,” a gifted woman in our congregation told me. She has the ability to transform paints, fabrics, or flowers into beautiful creations. “More people should be exposed to art,” she declared. Her invitation inspired 20 artists to gather for a show and sale, transforming our fellowship hall into a combination art gallery and cool craft store.  Visitors receive a transfusion of color and creativity on a cold winter morning. Church works when we share our passion and abilities.
  • Meals shared, prayers offered, cards sent, clothes distributed, hugs given, a listening ear offered.

Seminary professors call this “incarnational theology; the Word made flesh.”

I call it making God visible to the world.  That’s church.

 

*Oil painting by Karen McFarlin:  kmcf3470@gmail.com

 

 

 

After Election Day

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Commentators counting down the hours to Election Day make it sound like the doomsday clock is ticking away. One could think the world will end on November 8th.

It won’t.

On November 9th some things will be different. We will have a President-elect.

But – reassuringly – many things will remain the same.

  • The God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow will be with us. God’s faithfulness will continue to endure forever.
  • God’s love, forgiveness, and mercy will still be bigger than any political process.
  • God’s truth abides. This remains true even after centuries of war, famine, poverty, hatred, and evil working to silence voices of hope and compassion. It will be true even after this nasty election season.
  • We will still be welcomed into God’s presence – every single one of us.

The needs of the world – globally and in our back yards – will remain. Jesus said the poor will always be with us. We will need to remember

  • The hungry and the homeless
  • The lonely and the broken-hearted
  • The food insecure
  • Those who are poor in hope or strength, those who need a helping hand or a kind word.

We will still be called to love our neighbors.  All of them.

We will still be called to love our enemies.  All of them.

No matter who wins the election, I pledge to pray for that person.

  • I pray that person will be surrounded by prudent and balanced counsel.
  • I pray that person will have wisdom to accept the vast responsibility of leadership with humility and grace.

No matter who wins on November 8th, many people will be unhappy on November 9th.  I pledge to discover ways to help us listen to one another.

  • We will need to ask one another questions and promise to pay attention to the answers.
  • I hope we can try to imagine what another person’s journey is like.

Deep divisions, mistrust, fear, and anger are with us now. They will remain after November 8th.

But on November 9th – and always – God will be with us, calling us to “bring good news to the oppressed, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, and to comfort all who mourn” (Isaiah 61).

The world won’t disappear, but the world will need our help.  Let’s focus on that.